Oh yeah, that's mine...

I enjoy camping, when the weather is nice. And I enjoy venison when it's covered in taco seasoning and squished between the sides of a hard shell taco. I also enjoy Thanksgiving. I eat Turkey, I eat stuffing, potatoes etc. I also know where my food originated..at least generally. However, I am a city kid. I lived in the suburbs of Anchorage Kentucky until I was 9 and now my family lives about 15 minutes from Downtown Tampa Florida. I know more about L-trains and trolley, bus passes and parking meters than most people know about their own siblings. So let me reiterate, I am a city kid.

This morning after my 40 minute drive from Nashville to the small Robertson County town in which I teach, I was startled to see- in the parking space next to me, a small gray pick-up truck. Through the passenger seat window I could see feathers. Not a few multi colored synthetic feathers you might find in my Kindergarten craft box, but in fact a full fan of brown, tan, reddish colored feather.

"Whoa!" I thought, "What the heck is that??"

I hopped out of my SUV such that I was now a little above eye level with the passenger side door of this truck. And OH DEAR LORD it wasn't just the feathers, it was the WHOLE FREAKIN' BIRD!!
People, I was stunned. Instinctively, I said, "Oh my God!" (a little louder than I intended) and the 3rd grade teacher parked on the other side of me kindly popped her head around the front of the car and asked me if I was alright.

"This truck has a WHOLE turkey, in the PASSANGER SEAT...not the bed of the truck but in the cab, in the passenger seat....You know, like the place where his girlfriend sits!!"

And as if it was nothing at all the other teaching simply said, "oh yeah, it's turkey season." It was as if I had said nothing at all, she was not surprised or alarmed or even amused by the dead foul in the truck cab! I bolted into the building and into the cafeteria where the other teachers on my team were waiting for morning meeting to begin and while panting and laughing and shaking, I re-told the story (hoping for a better reaction the second time around) and as the story came to an end, Mr. B, one of our subs said, "Oh yeah that's mine!"

!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?

"What I said?!?!?!?! WHAT??? BRANDON, why is there a dead bird in your passenger seat, in the parking lot of our elementary school????"

Much to my delight, the tables of teachers began to laugh, and honestly at this point, so did I. It seems so normal to them and for me this was TRAUMATIZING!

"Elizabeth, it's just my decoy" he said
"What??"
"Well, it's a decoy, it's plastic. It's not like I shot it on my way to school this morning and through it into the cab so that the dogs couldn't get it..."

At this point I about died. The school resource officer was rolling on the floor laughing. The Principal was watching my arms flail wildly and most of the students were observing my melt down with perplexed expressions.

Listen people, in Tampa, Florida people do not drive to work with GIGANTIC turkey bird in their passenger seats. Plastic or Real! Welcome to northern Tennessee I suppose!

**As a side note, if you know my Mother, visualize this...Terri drives to downtown Tampa to Rampello Downtown Partnership School, she parks her little blue car in the parking garage across the street from the Bank of America building. And next to her is a DEAD TURKEY in a Mercedes?!?!?! It would just never happen, never.

Happy Hump Day.