In the Summer of 2008 I broke up with the Coach. We'd been dating a little while and we didn't seem to be on the same page. I was only 21, there was an old boyfriend hanging around and I was tired of fighting so I ended things. It was probably my 10th break up over a lifetime but it was his 1st. He wasn't surprised, if he had been more self-motivated back then he probably would have done it himself. When we broke up the Coach had already agreed to help me get home to Tampa that Summer. We were within a couple of weeks from the trip and the split was so amicable that we decided to go on with it anyway... I'm pretty sure I tortured him for 4 days. I talked about my ex-boyfriend and my family and me, me, me, me, me. I wasn't trying to impress him anymore and we didn't have anything to fight about so I just talked. We met my Mom (who was vacationing) in Daytona for the 4th of July and we had a great time. Then we drove to Orlando and stayed at my sister's so that we could go to Disney the next day. Again this was about my 30th trip to Disney and it was his 1st. We had a great time. We spent a day or so in Tampa before driving him to the airport where he flew back to Nashville and then drove on the Bowling Green. When I think about that trip and the 18 months that followed it makes me sick to my stomach. Now, I could never imagine treating him with such indifference. I could never toss him on a plane with out tears and a million hugs and kisses good-bye. I couldn't walk through Disney World with him without giggling and holding his hand. Worst of all is that I did go back to the old boyfriend and it wasn't pretty. But as bad as I feel about everything that happened, after that trip something changed in the Coach. He told me on the beach that weekend in Tampa that he was in love with me and that he would show me how he could be exactly the man I needed because something had shown him that we were meant to be together. At the time I thought it was nuts. When he got home to Louisville a few weeks later, he wrote me the most incredible love letter I have ever seen. Again I'll say, at the time, I thought he was nuts.
 |
| Here we are at Disney that Summer :-) |
For the next 14 months, the Coach came to every bar and ball game and party I went to. He came to hear me sing the national anthem at a minor league baseball game. He brought me flowers and gum (yes, gum) He volunteered with my Sorority and made good with my friends. He went to the gym (and bought socks without holes) and he waited. He watched me date someone else, someone he hated, and yet he continued to wait. He very carefully and very diligently became my friend. Later on, the Coach's Mom told me that one afternoon she sent him an email suggesting that maybe he should leave it all alone and move on from me. He very kindly replied that he couldn't, he just knew we were meant to be, he knew that I was the only person on this earth for him.
In August of 2009, he called me. I was in Tampa for the Summer and the Coach had seen that the Tampa Bay Bucs were having practice or something and he wanted to come down. He was going to stay in a hotel, but he wanted to see me. In true Elizabeth form I insisted that he stay at the house with us and then complained to my parents that I didn't know what to do with him- I knew that he liked me but I had another boyfriend. They both told me that the Coach was a nice boy and to suck it up. So I did.
He came for about 3 days. It was 105 degrees the whole week and we spent almost every moment floating around in the ice cold swimming pool at my parents house. We talked about everything under the sun. He listened to my stories and gave me advice, he told me funny things about his roommates and he even went to a couple of the football practices with my Dad. I have never laughed so hard with anyone in my life. It was so much fun having him around. When I took him to the airport this time, my heart ached. Even now as I write down this story my eyes are filling with tears... He hugged me so tightly and he said, "you are my best friend" and then when he let go of my body it was like he was releasing me. I don't know how to explain it but I could actually
feel him letting me go. And instead of being relieved that he was ready to move on from me, I was devastated. I went home that night and told my Mom everything. I told how I couldn't explain it but I was in love with him too. Her advice was for me to hold my breath for 30 days. She said that if I was really in love with him that I owed it to him to let it sit. (She wanted me to be really really sure before I hurt him again) and it was the best advice I have ever been given.
I didn't talk to the Coach for that month. I couldn't even try or would have poured my heart out to him and I knew it was too soon. So I waited. I moved to Nashville (terrible choice but it all worked out) and started coming up to Bowling Green for long weekends. One Friday night while I was staying with my best friend, I decided to go to the Purples Football game. I remember standing in her bathroom putting on purple eye shadow and her asking me, "So he's back in, huh?" I denied it- but she knew.
I remember seeing him that night like it was yesterday. He was glowing and I was too. I could have hopped the fence and thrown my arms around him the moment I saw him. It was the single greatest moment of my life. We stood by the field house making small talk for a few minutes before the game. The game felt like it took forever. I waited forever more while he got his things after the game and met me at the gate. He walked me all the way across the parking lot to my car before I finally said it.
"I love you. I was wrong and I hurt you and if you'll have me, then I promise to spend every day of the rest of our lives showing you how right you have been all along."
You know the bastard just stood there and grinned and then he had to audacity to say, "I'll call you tomorrow- I have some things to think about." I COULD HAVE DIED! (Yes, I know, I deserved it.) He said then that he needed time to process what had just happened, but he says now that he wanted to see me sweat just a little. I went out with my friends in town that night but ended up with the Coach the next day. We went to Waffle House at 2am on Sunday morning and the rest, as they say, is history.
 |
| via- Jen Creed Photographer |
We're getting so close to our wedding and I keep thinking about who we are as a couple and who we will become and the thing that assures me the very most is knowing that to him I was worth pursuing. I was worth fighting for. I was worth the effort. And in a world of boys who treat women like dirt and girls who beg for attention only to be denied and ridiculed and abandoned I think that's really saying something about the kind of man the Coach really is.
If there is only 1 thing that you take away from this story it is that EVERY SINGLE WOMAN ON THIS EARTH IS WORTH IT. Every woman, that means YOU, is valuable and should be pursued with intention and vigor. And if the man in your life is not willing to do that for you, then he isn't worth a grain of salt. I know that God wants more for you. He was willing to send his own SON to die for you, I think I'd say you're pretty valuable to Him so you should certainly be deeply valuable in the eyes of your boyfriend. No one should settle. If you trust in the Lord He will make your paths straight and He will lead you to the kind of man He knows you deserve.
LOVE & Peace.
